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I am a mother.

And I love every minute of it. 

I can only get tired but I am never bored. The faces of my handsome princes energize me.

Baby Dynamo is 1 month and 16 days old today… How he has grown from a mere 2.8kg newborn babe.

sany1844

His hand in mine. It feels good. It feels perfect. And scary…

I am responsible for this little one… He grows bigger each day from my milk… He is protected by my arms and hands… He listens to my voice,, and soon, he will look into my face.

Motherhood. My vocation.

Category: motherhood  Tags: ,  One Comment


Being far away from family and relatives, I had been so used to doing things my way and scheduling our own family time. My son’s playtime, playmates, hobbies and habits are mostly my discretion.

Now that my son is of age to know what he wants and when he wants it, he takes pleasure in the attention he gets from family whom he knows adore him. He feels he can get away with anything and can take refuge from anyone against Mommy.

So, our daily routine since vacation starts with good morning kisses… then, “can I go out to play?” He absolutely loves it when I struggle in giving his daily vitamins. Whoever is in the house, he goes behind them, hides and pretends not to hear me! He especially delights whenever his Lolo Daddy is around whom he knows is always ready to take his side and gives in to his whims.

Mealtimes are mean to me as a Mom! My son would make all kinds of excuses not to eat… yet. But when I let his nanny feed him, he eats well. Whenever my father and my brother are with us during meal times, he is the most obedient and eager toddler to show them that he can eat on his own and he actually eats well. Then I would receive comments like my son can eat very well on his own, why does his mom always feed him? Grrrr!

On the rare times that we were alone in the house, I could actually let him eat well… after much crying from him hoping that he can watch TV while eating. It is plain torture whenever the whole family is in the house for dinner. I couldn’t turn off the television. My parents are set on their “teleserye” schedule that turning off the television would be declaring war. With the television on, my son would declare that he wants to watch his own good movie. Then, everyone would give in to him. This irks me so much! I’m lucky if my father would declare that the television be turned off. My son behaves and shows them how good an eater he is.

We are leaving tomorrow for Manila. It will be another set of family for him… his Dad’s side of the family. Another set of people to adore him… and pamper him… and hopefully spend as much time as they can with him. Who will he take refuge from this time?

Despite my jealousies, I am very happy to see my son enjoying not just Dad and Mom’s attention. He deserves his one month, or a few weeks, in a year with grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins around him.

Every parent I meet, whether they have a boy or a girl, are one in saying that my son is very active for his age. I am always happy to hear this. Even when he was a baby, my husband and I are in agreement that we would be happy to have an active son. We have always encouraged him to move… and move… and move. And talk… and talk… and talk. At 27 months, my Little Dynamo could and tries each time to speak in complete sentences. Manifestations of an analytical mind include words like “I think…”, “because”, “maybe”, “this is better”. When I first heard any of those words from him, I was really surprised. Pleasantly surprised. He must have started uttering words at 15 months. My husband and I were actually worried when at 1 year old, he was not able to clearly say Daddy and Mommy yet. But he did start to speak… at his own pace.

These days, he could sing on his own the alphabet and several nursery rhymes. He invents his own spiderman movements. He jumps on the bed… almost nonstop. It is tiring, yes. But it is only tiring for me and my husband. But this is just a phase he goes through. Why would we want to stop him from exploring his world through actions?

While going home to the Philippines for vacation is a welcome relief and a good chance for our son to feel family around him, it has been quite stressful for me since his first vacation. At 10 months old, he was always on the go. For people used to telling toddlers to behave (read: don’t move too much lest you will be labeled as sobrang makulit), I guess my son was too much for them. I know, for every family, there are norms to follow in rearing children and for this I am thankful for the independence to rear my son the way I think he should be reared, and not according to the “conventional” rearing that we would have been surrounded with if we were in the Philippines.

Living far from family and the comfort of househelpers and nannies in the Philippines is not easy. But I have adjusted to it… and proud of it. An online friend gave me this comforting words when she wrote in one of my posts:

“In my case, I could afford to be as open-minded about the rearing of the kids kasi malayo kami sa mga taga-payo who mean well but can be oppressive and critical at the same time. When I look back at the balance sheet of having stayed abroad all these years, the freedom to be the mom I wanted to be holds first place in the list of advantages.”

I still got irritated with comments during our last vacation but with my husband beside me I learned to control it. Who wouldn’t be? Even yayas had something to say… one told her ward “ikaw ha, nagiging wild ka na rin” with obvious comparison to my son. No wonder, my Little Dynamo was very stable on his feet and running at 12 months.

I have a very soft spot for one of my husband’s niece. She’s a very pretty girl who used to be very active and playful as a toddler… others apparently saw it as being more active than toddler girls should be. She was called wild. Now, she’s a very pretty girl whose confidence needs a little boosting. I was also witnessed to a young boy who loved to sing during special occasions. He would almost always have the microphone and sing to his heart’s content. He was labeled as autistic.

I think it is pretty harsh to label kids, especially during their formative years. Nobody should stop them from learning the world around them and testing their capabilities through playing and playing… and playing. That is how they learn, after all.

We’re back here in our own little kingdom and I take comfort in letting my son explore his world the way he wants to while I am always on guard against possible dangers… sans irritating comments. In my stay far from the comforts of familiarity, I have learned to rely on my readings, no matter how contradictory they seem to be from the norms back at home, and from the experiences of moms whose culture is different from where I grew up in. Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of ”The Blessing of a Skinned Knee” has this to say:

“But letting kids explore — at the cost of a few scrapes and cuts — builds character, self-confidence, resilience, and self-reliance”.

Any moment from now, my son’s going to wake up. Even in this winter chill, his first words after his nap are always “It’s not night time. Let’s go out, Mommy.”

Got a special reminder through my email today to treasure every moment with my Little Dynamo. It is titled “A Touch of Love“.

You were six months old and full of fun,
With a blink of my eye, you were suddenly one.
There were so many things we were going to do,
but I turned my head and you turned two.

At two, you were very dependent on me,
but independence took over when you turned three.
Your third birthday; another year I tried to ignore,
but when I lit the candles, there weren’t three, but four.

Four was the year that you really strived.
Why, look at you now, you’re already five.
Now you are ready for books and for rules.
This is the year you go to school.

The big day came, you were anxious to go.
We walked to the bus going oh, so slow.
As you climbed aboard and waved good-bye,
I felt a lump in my throat and tears stung my eyes.

Time goes so fast it’s hard to believe
that just yesterday you were home here with me.
And tomorrow when the bus brings you home
and you jump to the ground
you’ll be wearing your cap and graduation gown.

So I’m holding to these moments as hard as I can,
because the next time I look, I’ll be seeing a man.

Author unknown

My Little Dynamo has just turned 2 years old but I had a lump on my throat when I reached the last sentence.

For several days now, my Little Dynamo wants me out of the bathroom when he takes a bath. At 2 years old! He wants to play on his own. He pretends to swim in the bathtub. When he sees me peek into the bathroom, he would say, “No, no, Mommy. Mommy going out.” I would discreetly look into him every now and then and what does he do? He talks! It’s as if he’s talking to someone or commanding someone. Funny little thing!

This morning, he closed the shower curtain just as I usually do. My little boy now wants his privacy? LOL.Whenever I ask him to go out of the tub, he would always bargain with me. “Last, Mommy. Last”. I would oblige:-) Truth be told, I get my chance to do other household chores whenever he wants me out of the picture. Or, I get my hands on my keyboards. Like now:-) I could hear my Little Dynamo singing “Itsy, Bitsy Spider”. And he changes “Itsy, Bitsy Spider” to “Big, Big Daddy/Mommy”. Really funny little thing…

Got to get him out of the tub now…

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