While waiting for my son’s school bus this morning, a Korean Super Mom told me about another girl who lives in the same apartment building. She said she’s a stubborn child. Her parents give in to her every whim so their mornings are always difficult. When the girl wants to change her clothes, the parents will change her clothes. When there is something she doesn’t like in her appearance, the parents will do as she wishes until she is satisfied.
Without much motivation from me to continue with the conversation, she went on to say that “I think pushing kids to do what you want them to do is more efficient. They are too young to know what they want”.
I know she is right.
I also know that kids need all the warmth they could get from the adults around them. They need a more nurturing environment, more than a pushy and efficient atmosphere, to grow as well-rounded as they can. They need to play, run, jump, tease, cry… even when all the adults care about them is catching the school bus.
When they go out of the house and face other kids and other people, do they remember mom’s efficiency in getting them ready and in time for the school bus? Or they remember the laughter during breakfast, the occasional tears of frustration, the chasing when you want to put on their clothes and all they want is for you to catch them?
I am sure there is a balance between being efficient and being nurturing. How? I don’t know the step 1, step 2, step 3. I don’t even think there are exact steps to follow. Every day our kids teach us how in several ways… in many different ways.