life in korea, motherhood

On a Mission

I am on a mission: Not to go near people with a lot of negative vibes!

While I appreciate other mom’s desire to be friends with my son, I also have a need to protect my son to be the boy that he is right now – free-spirited, sometimes naughty, sometimes stubborn. I don’t want him to be a model child. I don’t want him to be an unrealistically well-behaved child. I just want him to be him.

While I also appreciate other mom’s obvious desire to be my friend, I have a need to be just me. I have a need to be friends with whom I please to be friends with. I have a need to treat my son the way I deem it proper to treat him.

Imagine a boy of 4 years (international age) not having friends or playing with other kids. When asked who his bestfriend is, he would readily utter my son’s name… just because he is the only boy he has played with. I have no problem with them going to school together. The mom enrolled him in Kinder Liebe because my son goes there. But that means seeing the mom morning and afternoon – daily – and listening to her ranting. Spare me!

Little Dynamo would sometimes ask me to ride his bike first with his friends before going up to the house. Sometimes I agree – sometimes I don’t. It depends. This mom told me, “But if he rides his bike, my son would also want to ride his bike”. So?

After awhile my son asked for ice cream because his favorite playmate also asked for ice cream from his mom. We were walking towards the convenience store when this mom asked me, “Are you sure? Do you buy him ice cream everyday?”

“No”, I answered. She saw me bought ice cream for my son the other day.

“But if you buy ice cream, my son will also want ice cream. I’m afraid it’s going to be a habit”. Duh! I continued walking ahead.

She’s obviously not friendly with the other moms with whom I am constantly conversing with every afternoon. While she was by my side, the other moms would just look our way but didn’t make an effort to include us in their group. That is something I am not used to! Perhaps aware of the awkwardness of the situation, she justified why she isn’t socializing with the other moms.

Then goes the rant about how she wants her eldest to continue studying violin but how the violin class would often spark a fight with her daughter who doesn’t want to study violin. But the daughter would be left behind by her peers if she doesn’t study any musical intrument, she reasons out. Almost all children here in Korea learns to play a musical instrument. And so on…

I felt exhausted. I felt robbed of my time to be with people I have the pleasure to be with. I need to find ways to avoid this kind of day again!

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3 thoughts on “On a Mission

  1. i also became “friends” with a Korean woman who was so friendly at first. but it turned out that she wanted me to teach her children for a “minimum” fee. inspite of my pregnancy, she would call me insistently. asking me when can i go to their house again. although i told her already that i wasn’t feeling well, she’d still say “so when do you think can you come?” haaay…. until i didn’t answer her calls anymore. good thing she got a job now. at least her mind is already occupied with something else…kkk

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