At last, we can move on!

I have written about recurring fever and VUR in my previous posts. But I haven’t really made any connection with these posts with our Little Dynamo. I guess this post will be the most personal post that I can write here.

Now that the surgery is over and the daily monitoring with the fear of another infection can be put to rest, we can go on with our days enjoying our playful son. I wouldn’t have to sleep with paranoia anymore. Since the diagnosis of VUR on my son, I slept with a thermometer under my pillow. A little rise in his temperature makes me panic and questions of what ifs were torturing me. I just can’t limit his activities, too. We had to spend the days as normally as possible, with fun activities, because I didn’t want him to miss out his playtime during the summer days.

After the recurring fever last June, my son was very healthy. He was so playful it hurts to think that we had to let him undergo surgery when he was taking his daily medicines (which I presented to him as vitamins) obediently. Everyday, I assured him how healthy he was.

A child can only be so trustful. The jolly spirit that I presented to him each time we went for consultation at the Yonsei Severance Hospital must have made an impression on him that going to the hospital is just like going to the playground. Of course, it helps that the International Health Clinic in Yonsei had toys for his age. When we finally went there last Monday night for the scheduled admission, I wondered about what was going on his mind. Mommy always tell him he is healthy, so why the IV now? Why did he have to go through all the intimidating machines?

We were just so thankful that we had the option to have a Laparascopic surgery for our son. This would only require three incisions on his belly. In contrast to open surgery, recovery is faster. My husband and I couldn’t also take the thought of having our son literally under the knife.

I can’t help but cry after I left my son for the surgery. Immediately after the injection of the anesthesia, he fell into a deep sleep. It was a consolation that he didn’t know what he was about to undergo. He didn’t even feel the pain in the operated area when he woke up.  I will forever be grateful to my friend who volunteered to be with me during the operation. I wouldn’t know how to walk around the hospital if I had no one to talk to that time. I am so humbled by friends who came to visit my son. In my mind, I promised I will never be nasty (in thought) to them again:-).

When my son woke up, he was more scared that I wasn’t beside him. He had the discomfort of the catheter but there was no pain in his belly. It took him a few seconds before he recognized me. He was just sitting on the bed immobile. Those seconds were plain torture.

We were discharged the day after the surgery because the doctor knew we had a scheduled flight to go to the Philippines. It was a wrong decision.

My son was in pain the night we went home.

We were advised by the doctor to admit our son again the next day.  I can’t help questioning myself why we allowed our son to go through all those pain when he was visibly very active prior to the operation. I know we did the right choice. The surgery was to secure the health of his kidney. But… seeing him…

My son was not allowed to eat or drink (not a drop) for more than 24 hours.

If his acceptance and obedience of the fasting is of any indication as to how smart and patient he will be, then I am sure he will go a long, long way. He never threw a tantrum. He only cried once when he saw me eating a sandwich. He was crying and saying at the same time, “I don’t eat my food anymore”, “I miss my sandwich”. I know, I know. It was my fault. I wasn’t able to hide the sandwich from him. I was already starving that time.

When the doctor teased him, “Do you want to drink? Are you thirsty?”

my son replied, “But you said NO” (my son meant the doctor told him he shouldn’t drink).

The doctor smiled and said “Good boy”. I was so proud of him but my heart was in pain seeing how painfully obedient he was.

When he was finally allowed to drink, he was just so happy! When he was finally allowed to eat, he was literally shouting with joy when the food was delivered to his room.

Now that I see my son getting back to his playful self, the guilt of letting him undergo so much discomfort and pain has dissipated. He just doesn’t have any idea how his hugs and I love yous give me strength and assurance that we are doing the right thing for him.