The following was forwarded to me. The author is unknown but whoever she or he is, thank you for making all the expat’s wives smile.
Look down on us your humble obedient wives, who are doomed to travel this earth following our loved ones, through their working lives, t lands unknown.
We beseech you, Oh Lord, to see that our plane is not hijacked or doesn’t crash, our luggage is not lost or pillaged and our overweight baggage goes unnoticed.
Give us this day, dive guidance in our selection of houses, maids and drivers. We pray that the telephone works, the roof does not leak, the light bulbs quietly terminate without shorting out the house or exploding, that the power cuts are few and the rats cockroaches even fewer.
Lord, please lead us to good, inexpensive restaurants where wine is included in the meal and the food does not cause dysentery. Have mercy upon us Lord, if it be the latter and make us fleet of foot to make it to the loo in time, and strong of knee in case we have to squat.
Also give us the wisdom to tip correctly in currencies we do not understand.
Make the locals love us Lord, for who we are and not what we can contribute to their worldly goods.
Grant us the strength to be kind to our maids, even though our most treasured dress resembles a rag or they take bleach to clean our well-admired silk rug. Give us divine patience when we explain for the hundredth time the way we would like things done and Lord, if we ever lose our patience, have mercy on us for our flesh is weak.
Dear God, protect us from so-called “bargains” we don’t need and can’t afford. Lead us not into temptation for we know not what we do.
Almighty Father, keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and comparing them to us and save them from making fools of themselves in nightclubs. Above all, please do NOT forgive their trespasses for they know exactly what they do.
And when our expat years are over Lord, grant us the favor of finding someone who will look at our photographs and listen to our stories, so our lives as expat wives will not have been in vain.